i thought i had it all.

the 6-figure salary. full autonomy in a corporate job i created. regular flights on the corporate private jet. total boss babe.

i had the ability to fly out and vacation where i wanted to, when i wanted to. the ability to buy myself the flyest new shoes, bags, gold jewelry, and luxury cars. fine dining anywhere and anytime, living in the city that never sleeps. and, the ability to pay for my education, and chase my next goal of becoming a therapist.

i was newly single and getting ready for a hot girl summer.

i thought i was happy. i thought i was LIVING.

then in march 2020, covid stay-at-home orders hit, and everything came undone.

in the stillness i found myself unraveling. my nervous system was completely dysregulated. i lived in “fight or flight” mode for so long, my body didn’t know what to do without the distractions and survival strategies of working 50+ hours and studying 20+ hours per week, sleeping less than 7 hours each night, drinking and smoking excessively, and sometimes eating only one meal a day.

a 14 year romantic partnership ended 4 months prior, and i hadn’t even slowed down to process this.

people-pleasing, perfectionism, and capitalism were killing me in mind, body & spirit.

i was showing up for everyone in my life but me.

saying yes to it all, with no boundaries, building resentment and eventually burnout.

with the support of friends, coaches and a therapist, i decided to quit everything and heal. i released the career, my home in nyc, toxic relationships, and my addiction to nicotine, to create more room to dream and align with the life that i deserve. and just like that, i packed my bags and took a flight to sunny l.a. to stay with my bestie for a few months. it was there that i began remembering my dreams.

i dreamed of feeling free. a life where depression, anxiety, and constant thoughts of ending it all, wasn’t a regular way of being.

i dreamed of feeling soft and safe in my body. a life abundant in ease, joy, pleasure, and love.

i didn’t know it then, but the universe was conspiring for me to have what i wanted. my best friend reminded me of a dream i shared with a group of friends on a beach in the hamptons over 20 years ago. a dream i had long forgotten of, using my gifts to center pleasure and heal in community.

fueled by this remembering, i left the comfort of california for the jungles of central america, to begin the healing journey i call ‘rest play love’.

while living in the jungle, with really strong wi-fi, i continued to see my therapist and participate in a 90 day self-love coaching program. yet, nothing could prepare me for the journey of the dark night of the soul.

it was here, in this darkness, that i began to unlearn the limiting beliefs, harmful behaviors, and survival strategies of my colonized mind. i allowed space to grieve the old versions of myself that had to die, in order for me to remember who i am, and welcome my rebirth—a full spiritual awakening.

after some deep self-inquiry through self-guided soul journeys, my ancestors and spirit guides led me back to my indigenous medicine, the breath and energy healing.

it was through this soul reclamation journey that my guides led me to find a trauma-informed, inclusive breathwork training and mentorship program designed for black healers. this program allowed me to begin healing the trauma that lived in my body for my lineage—ancestors & descendants, my communities, and most of all, me.

i also continued my studies in mental health counseling, began studying yogic philosophy, became a certified meditation teacher, and expanded my intuitive energy healing practices to become a certified usui reiki practitioner.

through a combination of the healing technolgies of breathwork, body movement, sound healing, self-touch, indigenous and bio-energetic massage, energy healing, story-telling, rest, pleasure, play, and plant medicine, i began to remember who i really am, on a soul level, and how i came to learn and serve.

it became so clear how everything i had experienced up until that point was medicine. every moment of my journey was part of the remembering and activation into the healing arts.

the greatest gift of all was after 40+ years i finally came home to my body and began learning how to love myself. i finally felt safe and soft.

through integrating all of these practices into my life, i learned to listen to the ancient wisdom of my body, my heart, and lead with love always, in all ways.

i released the survival strategies of people-pleasing and perfectionism, and leaned into rest, surrender, divine flow states, and ease.

my relationships became more loving, easeful, and supportive.

i learned how to set boundaries to cultivate relationships that felt safe and reciprocal.

i learned how to communicate my needs, prioritize my pleasure, and i fell in love again- with myself and the world around me.

and i finally divested from grind culture and stepped fully into my purpose to serve the well-being of my community by creating my own sacred wellness business, trina marie well-being, llc.

my devotion to love & healing became my purpose, my work, and the thing that strengthens me- mind, body & spirit.

on this journey i learned how trauma, emotions, and the experiences of our ancestors  are stored in our bodies, getting stuck, creating illness, and dis-ease. while talk therapy is essential in examining the mind and our behaviors to identify how our past and childhood trauma effects our relationship to the world today,  healing through the mind can only get us so far. we have to integrate the mind, body, and spirit to access the deepest layers of ourselves, remember who we are, release trauma and stagnant energy, and rewrite our stories.

our body knows what the mind can’t hold.

the future of our collective well-being and emotional sovereignty will be delivered through modalities that integrate mind, body, spirit, and community.

modalities like breathwork, yoga, dance, somatics, meditation, energy healing & sound healing.

this has been the most sacred and challenging work of my life, and i feel grateful and honored everyday that i get to share my journey, my knowledge, and my medicine with you.